Monday, March 29, 2010

Tight heart strings and a busy weekend.

It was a hectic week. Daniel's birthday was Thursday, so I had a family dinner that night with 11 people. I made 3 pot roasts, mashed 7 HUGE potatoes, a full bag of carrots in the roast, plus broccoli; it was all devoured. Also, 3/4 of a carrot cake... not enough left over :( We had our friend Nick over who is 6'8" and apparently a bottomless pit. The food didn't stand a chance.

Saturday we had a birthday party with all of our friends. I had the opposite problem on Saturday... we made way too much food. Actually, we made just enough and no one ate. Oh well. I'm not a party person at all, but I had a good time. I hope our guests had a good time as well. Daniel actually did all of the cooking, and I hardly did anything. My friend Erin was wonderful and was helping keep things clean and even threw the cake together while I got things set up and the burgers prepared.

Saturday would have been the second birthday of our first baby. We were busy all day, so that helped. However, we did see Daniel's ex-girlfriend and she has a 3 month old. Talk about an emotional dilemma. I like "J," but it's so hard to be around her because of the history she and Daniel have. I trust Daniel completely, I just am not comfortable around her. Anyhow. I was already trying not to cry for missing my babies when "J" comes around the corner with her sweet son. I was trying to be happy for her, and trying to enjoy "Z ." I didn't do too badly. I even held him while he fell asleep on my chest and managed not to cry. I know it will happen one day; it's the waiting that's killing me.

Ok, sorry for all that. I have to go now.

Friday, March 12, 2010

Lovely Spring

I truly love spring. It can be very bittersweet; I can't help thinking about how my first baby would be celebrating her 2nd birthday in a couple weeks. How I would love to have picnics with her and teach her about the flowers that I love so much. Our second baby would be crawling now. Would he look like me or Daniel? I look forward to the spring that I get to spend with my children... maybe next year.

This has been a lovely year so far! I got some sweet pictures of my furry children enjoying the warm weather. The cat is Monkey in our pear tree. It's blooming! Flowering trees are some of my favorite things in the world. Monkey has some news... she's expecting her first litter in April. She will be fixed after the little ones arrive. I had no intention of ever having more cats, but I'm secretly excited to have some kittens in the house for a little while.

Marley is the black and white dog. He is really enjoying the sunshine. He goes and just sits in the grass with his nose into the breeze for hours. Marley has always appreciated the simple things in life; when he was a puppy, we would take him for walks and when we came to a flower bed he would stop and smell the blossoms. My boy LOVES swimming in stock tanks. My parents have 2 large dogs and the 3 of them run, wrestle, and swim all day long then take naps in the sunshine.

Lucy is the top picture. She's developing quite a feisty personality. She really has been a good puppy. She's getting the potty training down pretty well... finally. Lu has decided that she prefers the outdoors. So, she brings little pieces of it inside to me: sticks, rocks, grass, dirt clods, and whole weeds she has pulled out of the ground. She has also learned that under the covers is a wonderful place to sleep. We let the dogs on the bed in the mornings (they do not sleep with us, or we would end up on the floor), and they sleep of the last hour of morning with us. I'm so happy to have my pets to keep me company during the day, I get so bored not being able to get a job right now. Animals are really wonderful :)

Well, I have to get some stuff ready to take to my booth. Happy spring!

Monday, March 8, 2010

Still not Pregnant

Ok, I guess I'm resigning myself to the inevitable... this is probably going to become about my infertility struggles. I started my period on Saturday, it was a lovely weekend... not. Actually, the cramping felt like contractions, and I was having severe back pain for about 5 hours. There was a point that I honestly thought I was miscarrying. It really felt like it. The good news, I was not pregnant and therefore did not have a miscarriage... yay. The not-so-good news, my period was a month overdue, and so I missed a whole month to be able to get pregnant. Thanks, body. I also found out that ovulation tests are unreliable for women with PCOS (poly-cystic ovarian syndrome). This explains why I've never gotten one to work.

I'm praying like crazy that March is our month. Hopefully we find out in April we have a healthy baby on the way. Gosh, I hope that's the case.

In other news, Lucy, the puppy, is still not potty trained. She will at least go on the paper I put down, and when given the option (leaving the door open) she will go outside. She's just not getting that going inside is bad. Spanking her doesn't phase her at all; she just looks at me and wags her tail. Sheesh.... Monkey and Lucy go for shots in the morning. That ought to be all sorts of exciting.

That's all for now. Have a good Monday!

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

My Prayer

God, give me patience to accept your perfect timing. Give me the strength to stand firm against bitterness. Please, I beg you, comfort me.